THE LIFE YOU SAVE
MAY BE YOUR OWN
In pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao, every day something is dropped.
Less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.
True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way.
It can't be gained by interfering.
Lao Tzu
What is this self inside us,
this silent observer,
Severe and speechless critic,
who can terrorize us
And urge us on to futile activity
And in the end, judge us still more severely
For the errors into which his own reproaches drove us?
T. S. Eliot The Elder Statesman
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When you’re lonely, you find yourself pondering what to do about your loneliness. What is it that you can say or do in order to not feel so lonely? Notice that you aren’t asking how to get rid of the problem; you’re asking how to protect yourself from feeling it. You do this either by avoiding situations or by using people, places, and things as protective shields. You’re going to end up just like the person with the thorn. The loneliness will run your entire life. You’ll marry the person who makes you feel less lonely, and you’ll think that’s natural and normal. But it’s exactly the same as the person who is avoiding the pain of the thorn instead of taking it out. You have not removed the root of loneliness. You have only attempted to protect yourself from feeling it. Should we someone die or leave you, the loneliness would again disturb you. The problem will be back the moment the external situation fails to protect you from what’s inside.
You will come to see that any behavior pattern based upon the avoidance of pain becomes a doorway to the pain itself.
The Untethered Soul
Heading 6
"A Samskara is a blockage, an impression from the past. It’s an unfinished energy pattern that ends up running your life."
― from "The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself"
If you want permanent peace, permanent joy, and permanent happiness, you have to get through to the other side of the inner turmoil. You can experience a life in which waves of love can rush up inside of you any time you want. It is the nature of your being. You simply have to go to the other side of the psyche. You do that by letting go of the tendency to cling. You do it by not using your mind to build false solidity. You just decide, once and for all, to take the journey by constantly letting go.
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Life is a tragedy when seen in a close-up, but a comedy when seen in a long-shot.
Charlie Chaplin
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Pain is unavoidable; suffering is optional.
Dalai Lamai
Compassion, then, involves the recognition and clear seeing of suffering. It also involves feelings of kindness for people who are suffering, so that the desire to help—to ameliorate suffering—emerges. Finally, compassion involves recognizing our shared human condition, flawed and fragile as it is.
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For instance, research shows that highly self-critical people tend to be dissatisfied in their romantic relationships because they assume their partners are judging them as harshly as they judge themselves. The misperception of even fairly neutral statements as disparaging often leads to oversensitive reactions and unnecessary conflicts. This means that self-critics often undermine the closeness and supportiveness in relationships that they so desperately seek.
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This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.
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Self-compassion does not try to capture and define the worth or essence of who we are. It is not a thought or a label, a judgment or an evaluation. Instead, self-compassion is a way of relating to the mystery of who we are.
Self-Compassion, Karen Neff
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Get off The Hedonic Treadmill
Mindfulness provides us with the opportunity to respond rather than simply react.
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Not only are our perceptions of reality often seriously clouded, our obsession with the impression we’re making on others may lead to some serious self-delusion.
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“Contingent self-worth” is a term psychologists use to refer to a sense of self-esteem that depends on success or failure, on approval or disapproval.
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